ok so check this out. Ian and I where hanging out at this bar last night in the west village. Just having a few drinks and generally acting like gentlemen. It was was getting late and some people were starting to leave. Everyone had kinda laid their coats in a booth by the door where ian and I where standing. This guy in a rugby shirt throws ian’s coat on the floor as he’s looking for his own. Ian turns to him saying ” hey man let’s not throw coats on the floor that’s not cool.” This guy “who I will refer to as tad” started to get kinda aggressive and insulting both ian and i. He went on and on telling us to F@$k off and to go f@$k ourselves. Seeing this scene tad’s little friend Clay came over to help Tad insult us. :Note: Clay is the real inspiration for this post. With Tad running out of ways to insult us with the F-word Clay jumped in saying “oh yeah, well we went to one of the top schools on the east coast!……….f@$ker” Now this is the point where I’m totally stunned. How can it seem like a good idea to tell guys you might fight in a few minutes what college you went to and how its rated. I know what he was getting at. ian and I look uneducated, but for the love of god just say that. For that matter what response do you expect from that. Was I suppose to come back with, ” oh yeah, well my jr. high summer reading list was really hard, yeah fool it had 2 steinbeck novels on it and I read them both!…….f@$ker” i guess what we learned from this experience is if you go to a top 11 school (which i still don’t really get) they don’t teach you how to trash talk before a fight. needless to say ian and i, going to art school learned to trash talk early on. feel rest assured that we certainly gave clay a verbal beating for the college comment. also don’t worry there was no fight. as you might have guessed I can’t and don’t fight. surpisingly ian also doesn’t fight although he talks about fighting people almost everyday. since I think you’ll agree tad a clay are real douche bags so for this they are receiving the first dport7 douche bag seal of excellence, this isn’t a real picture of the guys but I google searched “douche bag guys” and this picture came up, clay and tad look kinda like this though.

if your board with reading this blog (it can happen) check this one out it’s pretty good stuff white people like.

so i hope everyone is enjoying the holiday banner. it was about as holiday as i could get. although look for more killer renderings of killroy soon. anyway speaking of the holidays i have a little gift for you. actually it’s just something that i’ve kinda become obsessed with, that i want to share with you. a few weeks ago someone at work dropped a cd on my desk and asked me to copy it. the cd was a recording of the RPI show this american life. I did the favor and for some reason the disc was then left on my desk. a few weeks later searching for something to listen to this disc again caught my attention. listening to this show has totally consumed my interest. if you haven’t heard the show it works like this. every week they pick a topic and then find mostly true stories of real life people to go along with the topic. for example the most recent episode is called ties that bind. In this episode they tell a story on a girl that got a heart transplant, two women with cystic fibrosis that become friends, and a waitress that finds friends in strangers. although the title may seem a bit generic and the explanations of the stories may also seem predictable the show is anything but. The people’s stories are told with interviews that seem soooo real and honest its like your living their story right along with them. it seems that almost all of the people are nothing but amazing and the circumstances unfathomable. some of the episodes are funny while others seem almost to heavy to bear, but all captivating in a way i can’t really describe. after being surrounded the last few weeks with a media that supplies the most worthless news about the single most worthless people (pregnancy of Jamie Lynn Spears… who gives a shit) it’s more then refreshing to listen to an episode of this program. how can you get in on this you ask? well for one you can click my link here and go to the itunes and subscribe for the podcast. or you can go to the website and listen to all 300 episodes streaming online. either way i encourage you to give it a shot. there is also a tv show based on the radio program on showtime that can also be downloaded on itunes.

first thing first this has been a week of big news. (lets start with the stupid news first). as i mentioned in my last post chipolte opened this week around the corner from my office. it’s the kind of thing that kinda makes or breaks your work day. it resides on 8th ave between 51 and 52 street on the east side sidewalk. i have visited three times sine the grand opening. people say you can’t recreate magic you’d once lost. in this case those people are wrong. every bit of the three burritos i had this week were magical perfection. now i know what your thinking. “paul you know those burritos have the same calorie content as a big mac don’t you?” “you better watch out, your ganna get a big old gut just like 1980’s chicago bears defensive tackle superstar the refrigerator“. Yes i’m aware of that so relax. I’m going to start exercising or something but the burritos aren’t stopping. so get off my back……

in other more relevant news. (you really should have just skipped to this section). my long time girlfriend and resident cool person Kate, was offered a rather prestigious position (for her age) at Ralph Lauren this week. after too weeks of an intense test project and late night agonizing over details and concepts, she has reigned supreme with a great offer. of course here at dport7 the entire staff wishes kate all the best and are confident she’ll become a super star in the ralph lauren fold. in choosing a picture for this section of the post Kate recommended this one. apparently as you walk into the RL offices this picture of Ralph is huge and front and center. so put your tunnel vision and pretend your there.

kind of a weird weekend. didn’t do a whole lot but felt as if things happened anyway. first off lets talk about halloween. Although it falls on a wednesday this year people used saturday night to get their costumes on and take the town. i (as I so often do) did not buy a costume this year or participate in any holloween festivities. Mainly because upon entering the store every sluttie halloween costume joke i’ve ever made came true. check this out. along with sexy pirate and sexy nurse some company had the gull to producer sexy parking attendant. I thought halloween was suppose to be scary. I mean couldn’t we save face and at least do bloody sexy parking attendant? I know i have no right to complain but come on.

hey have you seen the trailer for the movie Juno? I saw it a few weeks ago and really got excited about this movie. It’s got some of my favorite people from arrested development. It’s about teen pregnancy but it looks really funny. The girl that plays the lead seems impressively talented. its always nice when a movie comes out that doesn’t look like complete crap. i put the trailer at the end of this blog so you to can get excited!

In other news OSX leopard came out on Friday. To be honest with you I’m really not that excited I mean I run an old G4 powerbook and spending 129 dollars on a new OS just makes me want to buy a new computer instead. I was at the apple store on Sunday and checked it out and felt a bit underwhelmed by it. The coolest new features are in iChat but i couldn’t test that out in the store. It seams like a good buy if you have a newer mac but i think i’ll just wait. Although if any one out there in blog land wants to let me borrow their copy for 2 hours i won’t say no.

tomorrow chipotle opens. it feels like christmas has come early!

mankind has spent it’s entire existence disputing and speculating on the presence of a higher power (God). on a personal level i have always believe that here has to be a higher power based on the fact that keith richards is still alive. Although i had never received a sign that i felt was directed primarily to me. last friday i did. as i walked to the subway after a late night at work my prayers were answered………. a chipotle is opening less then 2 blocks from my office. scoff if you must, but ever since i left my last job at G2 the decision has been haunted by losing the option for chipotle burritos 3 times a week for lunch. if you’ve never had a chipotle burrito you have been missing out on the closest thing to perfection (in the food industry) i’ve ever seen. What is my burrito of choice you ask? I always get the free range pork, black beans, rice, mild salsa, cheese, and lettuce. If you want go ahead and print this out so next time your near your local chipotle you can have the dport7 suggested bruitto blend. I snapped a picture for you and if i’m not mistaken it seems a if chipotle is glowing with holy spirit of restaurants….. do you think dport7 could be the patron saint of burritos? I don’t know if a website can be sainted but if so write to you local diocese and tell them to vote yes when it comes up.

so yesterday i went to the dentist. A few days earlier I felt a cavity on one of what i thought was a molar with my tongue. turns out it was my top right wisdom tooth. The dentist asked me if i was in for a cleaning when i got there at 8am. I said no, but check this out. He took a peek and said…. “lets pull that bitch out”…. i was like really? now? Then he gave me a look as if to say …… man up marsha. He left the room came back with Novocain and pliers and ten minutes later he held this in front of me. wow. I think i freaked out the doctor because right after he put it on the tray and put gauze in my mouth i jumped up and took a picture. I tried to get the nurse to get a shot of me and the tooth but see couldn’t figure out the camera. Then paid I and headed to work, which i arrived on time to. Bled my way through the rest of the day. if you see me today please no slaps in the face………. just thought you’d like to know.

what is it about tattoo’s that make them seem soo cool. of course we all know most of them all surrounded with a constant sense of regret. like the girl that got “miami spring break 2004” inked just above the crack of her ass, and now is the office joke. while other tattoos are a relevant life long tribute to someone or a constant reminded of something profound. why all the tattoo talk? well it seems every time i visit Kate we end up watching this reality show on TLC called LA ink. It’s pretty simple it’s just a tattoo pallor run by this attractive tv ready young women. For some reason the idea for this show is TV gold. the people that come into the shop either have a unbearable story of strife that can only be commemorated with a tattoo, or that polar opposite. Like the guy that came in a and wanted a tattoo portrait if his 5 year old cat ( which turned out surprisingly well). Either way it always leads kate and i down the road of talking about what tattoos wee would get. we both agree it have to be something that is hidden and not all together to complicated or trendy. although kate always mentions how her dream has been to get a portrait of Larry Hagman TV’s JR from Dallas (which i always think is weird, but cool). I thought it would be best for me to stay close to my dport7 roots and get the famous dport7 burst on my hand. very small but classy. of course if that doesn’t work out I could always get that portrait of Judith Light on my back.

happy labor day from the staff

so it’s labor day everyone and as always an extra day off always makes me happy to be alive. I don’ t want to sound greedy but most of us work all year long with maybe a week off here and there. For that we get one day of in September? It seems it would be less of a insult for our hard work if we got a “labor day” once a month. Knowing me and society we would probably complain about that to. It also seems appropriate to point out that not everyone gets today off. Doctors still have to work today along with waiters and retail workers. It seems like kind of a farce to call this labor day then. Is society saying that those people don’t work hard enough to deserve a day off? Of course not. But the rest of us are, when we go ape shit because we can’t get a latte on our well deserved day of rest………. What just happened I blacked out.

speaking of labor kate moved to a new one bedroom apt in queens on Saturday. Its up on the 5th floor with nice big windows for lots of light and cool breezes. A very nice size living room and a decent sized bedroom. A big thanks goes out to the swanon brothers who along with the dport7 staff made the move as painless as possible. The only thing that almost ended the friendship of the four of us was Kate’s 300lb treadmill. Ian and i battled that thing up the five flights of stairs only to have it win in the end. Its two days later and my legs are still screaming. After a tough day kate treated us to the queens beer garden for beer sour crout and sausage. A delight. She’s still got a lot of organizing to do but with anyluck she’ll have a little party to break the place in soon. Of course your all invited because the building has a great roof top. It would be a crime not to use it before the summer comes to a close.

so I needed to take the R train downtown this evening so i was walking from work through the time square area. i looked up to see Meredith Vieiria (of the Today Show) giving me a come hither look i just couldn’t ignore and to be honest it made me blush. then i realized it was a billboard and she wasn’t really looking at me. what is Vieiria doing? has she got something to prove or is she some kinda wana be porn star. Even saying that makes me feel dirty i mean Meredith delivers the morning feel good news segments to families all over the nation everyday. why oh why would she make such a face for the visitors and tourist of NYC to see. If you think its just me look at Ann Curry to the right she’s laughing but i’m sure it’s a nervous laugh. Then there’s Matt, the corner stone of the show seeming to get as far away from “bedroom eyes” Meredith Vieiria as possible. Maybe this was just a mistake but i think it’s a cry for help, a cry i’m more than willing to try to ignore. In short i thought this was disturbing and wanted to share.